Survivors and Trauma and how we Respond
25th June 2020, by Jess Lammin, Survivors’ Coordinator and Senior Therapist
Like all survivors of sexual abuse people with learning disabilities and/or autism will often find it difficult to come to terms with what has happened to them and may not even realise that what happened to them as a child was abusive for several years after it took place.
If the abuse was interfamilial (it happened within their family) the child may have been told any number of things to justify the abuse. For example, they may have been told that, ‘this is the way we show love to each other’, ‘we have a ‘special’ relationship, that it is a secret that no one else must know about’. They may have been told that those they love will be angry or upset or hurt by the abuse, or there may have been threats to harm family members or to the child if they talk to someone about what is happening. All of these contribute to the child feeling that they must keep the abuse a secret.
Many survivors of abuse experience feelings of guilt and shame, these can be heightened if they don’t ‘fight’ off the perpetrator, which is common in abuse situations as there is a power imbalance and often the victim has nowhere to run or hide. It is important that survivors are given some psycho-education around ‘trauma’ responses, as one of the most common ways that a victim copes with abuse is to ‘freeze’. Many people have heard of ‘fight or flight’ and this is an automatic and unconscious response and is the body’s way of coping with the emotional distress of what is happening. When a child has no safe place to flee to, this is the most likely trauma response.
It can take years for people who have been abused as children to realise that what occurred to them was damaging and to be able to name it as abuse.
Sometimes survivors of abuse will tell a family member and they may react in any number of ways that will stop the survivor from wanting to talk any further about what happened. The survivor may feel they are not being taken seriously, that they are not believed, that the trusted adult may think that it is their fault, that they ‘asked for it’, or ‘wanted it’. The family member may even side with the perpetrator in the belief that the child is lying. Or the family member may be so horrified by what has happened that they deny it took place and use phrases such as, ‘well it’s in the past now’, ‘what’s done is done, it’s best not to dwell on these things’.
This may then be repeated if the person with a learning disability and or/autism decides to go to the police and report the crime. Police may not know how to communicate appropriately with the survivor and may further add to their distress by asking very detailed questions that may be difficult for the person with a learning disability and/or autism to answer. Amnesia is common in trauma and often parts of what happened will be unclear and this can lead to the police or others questioning the account of the person with a learning disability and/or autism. If the account changes, even slightly, this can be picked up on and the survivor is then labelled an ‘unreliable witness’. It is rare the CPS prosecutes in these situations which can further add to the survivor’s feeling that they are not believed.
People with a learning disability and/or autism already face discrimination because of their disability and those who are survivors of childhood sexual abuse are no different. Their accounts of what has happened to them will often be dismissed and they will likely feel unheard and misunderstood. All of these experiences combine with the trauma and affect the mental health and wellbeing of the survivor.
People with a learning disability and/or autism who have been sexually abused as a child are likely to be traumatised and may display behaviours that others view challenging. These may include withdrawal, depression, anxiety, lashing out at others, not wanting to do things that they’d previously enjoyed, not wanting to go out of the house, hurting themselves (headbanging, scratching, picking, cutting, burning), absconding or drug/alcohol abuse as a way to cope with their feelings. If these behaviours are not recognised as the effects of trauma the survivor may have further difficult experiences whereby staff, friends or family members may punish or restrain the survivor, which potentially will re-traumatize and exacerbate the behaviours.
